June 2, 2006
DASH FOR DIGNITY SET FOR SATURDAY
EXCUSES vs CONCERN FOR OTHERS MARK PRE-RACE PREP
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
June 2, 2006 - Race fans are tittering with excitement over Saturday's "Dash for Dignity" between local drinker Gabriel J. Klein and hunger opponent Todd Zwillich. Friends have branded the event as the "Jew Foot Race for Freedom", though Zwillich is promoting the race as the "Dash for Dignity", noting that both Klein's and DC's dignity are on the line.
Klein and Zwillich are scheduled to face off at 2 p.m. in a 100-yd sprint on the undercard of the 1st annual Bao-derdash race in Prince George's County, Md.
The undercard race was hatched earlier this week after Klein challenged Zwillich while drinking wine.
Both contestants agreed to race on Saturday, though it was only hours after the challenge that Klein and his fiancée and live-in spin-doctress SuperBunny launched what Zwillich charged is a campaign to establish excuses for possible defeat. Klein himself announced Thursday that he planned to play in a rugby match Saturday morning, further evidence of a pre-race media strategy designed to cement public sympathy for a potential loss, Zwillich said.
"In ancient Greece, military commanders wore brown pants to fool their troops into believing they were not frightened of battle. Klein is clearly attempting to don modern-day 'brown pants' by proffering excuses before the race. But excuses and brown pants have something in common: they both stink!" Zwillich said.
The race has sparked a flurry of wagering in DC as well as in the betting shops of Las Vegas and Atlantic City.
Many bookmakers favor Klein because he is a regular participant in the "Bootcamp" athletic program. Others point to Zwillich's clear stride advantage and lust for speed.
But on Friday, Zwillich--a staunch enemy of hunger, pediatric cancer, and insulting kittens--announced he would give race fans an additional reason to bet on him. Zwillich said that if he is victorious, he will match all winnings in a donation to the Capital Area Food Bank.
"This race may have been borne of bluster, but there's no reason why DC shouldn't benefit. A bet on me is a bet against hunger. A bet for Gabe is a bet for brown pants and wine," Zwillich said.