No Wonder the Line at Starbucks is So Long

So this afternoon while visiting Starbucks for a, new for the summer, blackberry green tea frappachino blended creme, I overheard my coworker request her java chip frapp be "double blended". What the hell is double blended? I had never even heard that before, yet the barista didn't even flinch. She enlightened me on her coffee neediness and dislike for clumped ice chips.

Thus I was determined to come up with the longest possible coffee order.

Here was my decaffeinated concoction:

grande, decaf, triple shot, soy, sugarfree, vanilla, 8 pump, latte, extra hot, with whipped cream and chocolate shavings in a venti cup

But apparently I'm travelling in a foreign land because I got totally schooled by my Starbucksaholic co-worker in proper cafe lingo and received this translation:

Venti, organic non-fat, half-caff, quad shot, 8 pump sugar-free hazelnut, extra hot, with extra foam and chocolate shavings, latte

i dare you to top that.